GHAZAL

Khilaf uske zaban kholo na kholo

Magar ye kya ki tum sach bhi na bolo

Bahot bojhal hain ye sikke tumhare

Mere she’ron ko tum phoolon mein tolo

Abhi barood-aalooda faza hai

Abhi udne ko apne par na tolo

(Barood-aaloda: filled with gunpowder;

Faza: environment)

Bahot maasoom hain aankhen tumhari

Khudara tum meri aankhon se ro lo

(Khudara: For God sake)

Bahot hi zehr phela hai hawa mein

Dareeche band rehne do na kholo

(Dareeche: ventilators)

Nuqoosh ajdaad ke dhundla rahe hain

‘Naresh’ aayene ko ashkon se dho lo

(Nuqoosh: Imprints; Ajdaad: forefathers)

GHAZAL

Abhi hum ko ye fun aaya nahin hai

Use chaahen jise dekha nahin hai

Har ik shey mein tera jalwa hai lekin

Koyi jalwa tere jaisa nahin hai

Nigahen be-zaban hain kya batayen

Zaban ne aapko dekha nahin hai

Tere jalwe to roshan hain baharsoo

Hameen ko taab-e-nazzara nahin hai

(Baharsoo: All around;

Taab-e-nazzara: power of seeing)

Tumhara bhed kya paayen ki ham ne

Abhi khud ko bhi pehchana nahin hai

Usi ka ishq ho pehchan apni

‘Naresh’ apna nasib aisa nahin hai

GHAZAL

Haq - shanaasi ki ibtida Maula

Kaun hun main mujhe bata Maula

(Haq-shanasi - Identification

of Truth; Ibtida - beginning)

Mujh mein wo justju jaga Maula

Dhoond paoon tera pata Maula

(Justju - craze)

Tu nazar aaye zarre - zarre mein

Aankh ko dekhna sikha Maula

Jo tere bin na tujh se kuchh maange

Wo gadagar mujhe bana Maula

(Gadagar - beggar)

Mere maathe pe likh de naam apna

Mujh ko apna pata bana Maula

Aansu – aansu mein aks ho tera

Mujh ko yun bhi kabhi rula Maula

(Aks – reflection)

Arsh bhi tera farsh bhi tera

Jag hai kyun mera mass’la Maula

(Arsh - sky; farsh - earth;

mass’la - problem)

Hont seekhenge kab zaban chup ki

Band kab hoga bolna Maula

Rote bachche ko god mein le – le

De na jannat ka jhunjhuna Maula

Tu taghaful – pasand hai ya phir

Be – asar hai meri dua Maula

(Taghaful-pasand - leisure-loving;

Be-asar - ineffective)

She’r faryaad hai “Naresh” apni

Shayari hai sada – e – ya Maula

(Sada-e-ya Maula - Cry for the Lord)

JAIN TEMPLES OF PUNJAB

For centuries together, the Jains of Punjab have been the followers of the Jain saints who keep their mouth covered with a piece of cloth (mukhpatti) and thus attached to the “Dhoondhak Mat”. This sect of Jain religion, which is also known as “Dhoodhia sampradaya”, was established by Lonka Shah as a protest against the then prevalent idolatory among the ‘Shwetambaras’ with the result that the ‘sthanakas’ came into existence and the monks started living there instead of the temples.

In the ‘sthanakas’, “Aagams’ (scriptures) and not the idols are kept. The Shwetambaras do not consider some twelve out of forty- five scriptures worth reading since these preach idolatory. It is hard to say since when the Jains of Punjab embraced the ritual of image worship, but this can be affirmed that we do not find any evidence of image worship among the Jains till the end of the 19th century.

Acharya Srimad Vijyananda Suri, popularly known as Muni Atma Nand, who became the pioneer of idol worship in Punjab, was born on Chait 1, Sambat 1892 at Lehra.He joined the Dhoondak band of Jain saints but afterwards, disillusioned with the Sthanaka-life, he turned an idol worshipper. He left Punjab and went to Agra where he became a disciple of Muni Buddhi Vijay, an advocate of idol worship. Muni Atma Nand was a brilliant monk, a powerful orator and a prolific writer. His popularity rose sky high and in Sambat 1931, the whole of the Indian idol-worshipping Jain community conferred upon him the title of Acharya. This brought the entire lot of idol-worshipping monks under his command. He loved his Punjab so dearly that after attaining the title of Acharya, he traveled on foot from Gujrat to Punjab and persuaded his disciples to build temples. Almost all the Jain temples were built in his life time and the idols shifted from the temples of Gujrat and Rajasthan were installed in these temples by the Acharya himself.

Malerkotla was the first town to have a temple. In Sambat 1947, the idolof Tirathankara Rishabh Nath was installed in the temple at Malerkotla.The Acharya had a special feeling for this town since it was at Malerkotla where he embraced a monk’s life. The Dhoondhakas opposed this movement of idol-worshipping tooth and nail. The Dhoondhakas exhibited their might by stopping the idol- worshippers from taking out the ‘Dhwaja’ (religious flag) in the shape of a procession, which is now an annual feature with them. The use of force by them created tension in the town and a complaint was lodged with the ruler of the Malerkotla State. The Muslim ruler, Ahmed Ali Khan, in order to avoid his personal involvement, got the services of a British magistrate from Ludhiana who, after a couple of hearings, held that the idol-worshippers had every right to take out the Dhwaja. This victory was celebrated at many places in Punjab which resulted in the demoralization of the Dhoondhakas.

In Sambat 1948, another temple was built at Amritsar, with the idol of Tirathankara Sheetal NAth. On the occasion of idol installation a very latge congregation was addressed by the Acharya. The local followers arranged a community lunch. On Baisakh 5, Sambat 1948, another idol of Tirathanka Ari Nath was installed there. The temple at Amritsar was built by Phaggu Mal and Panna LAl, two rich business men of the town.

Another temple was built at Zira the same year. Radha Bai, a rich widow of Zira vowed to spend all her money in the building of the temple. She invited the local Jain community and expressed her desire which was received with a big applause. She entrusted this job to Lalu Ram, who engaged Sher Singh, a renowned mason of the area. This 30 feet high temple has a golden ‘Samosaran’ in it and its walls are decorated with cut-glass work. When the construction work was completed, Radha Bai invited Mr. Gokal Chand from Baroda who, at the instance of the Acharya, brought with him the idols of Tirathankara Chintamani which were places there.

Hoshiarpur, too, got a temple in Sambat 1948. The temple was built by Gujjar Mal on the pattern of the Golden Temple of Amritsar. This temple has four pillars and its central dome is covered with gold plates. Pishori Mal and two of his sons, Nathu Mal and Fattu Mal, arranged a big congregation and community lunch on Magh 5, 1948 V. when the idol of Tirathankara Paras Nath was laced in the temple.

In Sambat 1952, another temple was built at Ambala which became the place of worship with the placing of Tirathankara Sheetal Nath’s idol. Waziri Mal, Shadi Ram, Jagat Ram, Panna Lal and Hem Raj looked after the construction work and then arranged the congregation .The next year, Sambat 1953, three towns _Hem Nagar, Sankhatra and Narowal (now in Pakistan) _ got such temples. Afterwards, temples were built at other places in Punjab such as Jalandhar, Ropar and Ludhiana.

The way the idols are worshipped in these temples is known as ‘Ashta prakari pooja’ .( the eight-fold worship). The Jains bathe the idols, mark them with sandalwood paste, offer flowers, burn incense before them, and place a lighted earthern lamp or burning candle,and offer rice, cooked food and fruit to the idols. Normally, the devout visit these temples bare-footed and covering their bodies with a single piece of cloth.

LITERARY GENIUS OF MAULANA AZAD

Maulana Abul Kalam Azad is remembered by the nation as a great freedom fighter, an inspiring leader of the masses, an untiring crusader for secularism and a competent Union Minister for education.But in the world of Urdu literature, he is remembered with reverence as a fearless journalist, an intelligent commentator of Quran and a letter-writer par excellence.

As a journalist, the Maulana electrified thousands of young men and women through his articles which he wrote for his papers _ Al Hilal and Al Balagh.

As a commentator of the Quran, he established the relevance of Islamic philosophy in the present-day society and came to be recognised as an authority on Islam.

As a letter-writer, he showed unusual sensitivity and creative candour.

In Urdu Mirza Ghalib had revolutionized the style of letter-writing. He proudly declared that he had turned the epistle into an intimate dialogue between the writer and the addressee.

Maulana Azad followed the style of the Mirza but when he sat down to write his letters his creativity overpowered him. His dialogue got converted into monologue quite inadvertently.

Maulana Azad addressed all his letters to his friend,, Nawab Sadryar Jung of Bhikanpur, and wrote most of them between August, 1942 and September, 1943, when he (the Maulana) was imprisoned in the Ahmednagar Fort.

He was aware of the fact that the letters he was writing would not reach his friend because correspondence with the outside world was totally banned for the prisoners in the Fort. Obviously, he wrote the letters only under the compulsion of his creative urge.

Had the Maulana chosen to express his feelings, thoughts and memories in any other form of prose, he would have written a memorable autobiography or a bunch of serious essays. But his choice of form fell on letter-writing. Perhaps he was destined to provide Urdu literature with a new form of prose and to secure for his art a niche in literature.

The letters of Maulana Azad are a mixture of many forms of prose-writing. Some of these can safely be termed as short stories. He titled some letters as “The story of he and she sparrow”, “The story of a crow and a bulbul”, “The story of wine and opium,’ etc.

Maulana Azad himself said that he was writing not a formal letter but a short story. The letters concluded with “Let me end this story now” or “The story is getting too long”.

There are quite a few letters which provide a fine example of diary-writing. In these letters he has recorded the minute details of day-to-day life in the prison.

In an epistle dated April 11, 1943, he writes:

“The newspapers reach here between 12 noon and 1 p.m. Just opposite my room is the Superintendent’s office. The Jailor picks up the newspapers from his office and marches straight to my room. The moment I start hearing his footfall my heart-beat gets faster with apprehensions about the kind of news the paper would bring today. But then immediately I try to contain my anxiety. The back of my sofa set faces the door. The visitor can see my face only when he comes in front of me. By the time the Jailor reaches me, I bring back the usual smile on my face and ask him to put the papers on the table.

A few letters of the Maulana are very long and can easily be converted into serious article by giving them appropriate headings. In such letters he has discussed threadbare the topics of his choice. The subjects are varied. The Maulana has written a lot on education, social ethics, Islam, the human ego and moral values.

An interesting quality of Maulana’s letters is the variety of style. When he indulges in story-telling, the style becomes lucid and entertaining.

In the epistles dealing with socio-religious problems he goes in for an analytical manner. And when he records day-to-day events, his sense of wit becomes prominent and the style becomes tittilating.

In most of the letters he punctuates his prose with Urdu-Persian couplets, which speak out not only of his enviable memory but also of his matchless skill of making the best use of popular verse.

Urdu literature will remain indebted to Maulana Azad for his contribution in this field.

RAMAYANA's MESSAGE

Saint Tulsidas says that he composed the Ramayana for his own satisfaction swantaha sukhai Tulsi Raghunath gatha), but could that be so ? My answer to the question is in the negative. I say so because it is my firm belief that a poet, by virtue of his sensitivity, is deeply affected by the contemporary social life and reality. This basic sensitivity can not be denied even to those poets whose compositions are not rooted in reality, for they would not have been poets at all had they not been endowed with sensitivity. Poets like Tulsidas though apparently seem pre-occupied with the hereafter, this does not mean that the spirit of the times, with all its vices and virtues, was completely absent from their poetry.

In “Ramcharit Manas”, Tulsidas strikes a balance between social and moral values by projecting the concept of an ideal society. His concepts of a king as a protector of the people (lokrakshak) and of an ideal man (maryada purushottam Rama) do not square with his professed indifference to the world. Not only that he criticised the social, economic and the political set-up of his age but he also presented a picture of an ideal, well-knit and orderly society. On the one hand he stands for “Rama Rajya”but on the other he tries to free the low-caste people from the feeling of inferiority by granting Nishad and Shabri a graceful social communion with Rama.Is this not an attempt at social harmony ? An attempt to bridge the gap between different classes of society?

Tulsidas lived in an era of absolute feudalism, yet he makes Sita go through “agni preeksha.” The consort of Rama had to suffer agony in order to prove the charge of an ordinary man of no consequence, and a member of a low caste boot, wrong.Does Tulsidas not want to say that though Rama was a king, he believed in democratic functioning? Does this not carry an implied message of social and political awakening?

Like sensitive poets Tulsidas was also moved by calamities like famine, epidemics, war mass starvation and political oppression. See his following lines:

Kheti na kisan ko bhikari ko na bhekbali

Banik ko banaj na chakar ko chaakri..

Jeevikaviheen log seedyamaan sochvas

Kahen ek ekan son kahan jayi, ka kari.

Two expressions in these lines are significant: bhikari ko na bheekbali(no charty for the beggars) and na chakar ko chaakri (no employment for workers). Famine and epidemics may be divine retribution and they may be beyond man’s control but why one section of the society alone be the victim? The implied social awareness which finds expression in the above lines, leads to an obvious question: if peasants are starving because of famine, why should the moneyed class refuse to share its wealth with them? Tulsidas’s description of the sufferer’s plight is not only explicit criticism of the prevailing political conditions and a protest against oppression but it also reveals the fact that political consciousness existed at that time.

In spite of the fact that Tulsidas speaks of this world as an illusion, his poetry is not altogether devoid of the consciousness of his age. His view of the world that it was an illusion owed its existence to the hopeless political And social conditions of that time. Had he not tried to provide a mirror to society Saint Tulsidas would have failed in discharging his fundamental obligation as a poet.

LIVING IN SYNC WITH NATURE

Many of our physical and mental problems owe their origin to our flouting of the rules of nature. Nature is very magnanimous. We, through sunshine in winter, cool breeze in summer, rain in droughts and food and air throughout, are blessed with nature’s boundless benevolence. Nature does not tolerate contempt and is ruthless in enforcing its laws.

If you try to plant a sapling out of season, nature, in spite of your best effort, will not allow it to bloom. If, with the advanced science and technology, man takes an upper hand and makes the plant grow and bear fruit, the fruit will certainly be lacking in natural taste.

If you, in sheer violation of the rule of the nature, venture to go out for a stroll in your undergarments on a chilly winter night, you do brave and defy the nature. But nature would take no time in punishing you for your arrogance . It will punish you with a high temperature, pain in the lungs and an attack of cold and cough. Similarly, if you venture to bask under the scorching sun on a hot summer day clad in woolens, you can guess the result.

The more a person lives in a natural way, the more healthy he remains. Each violation of the law of nature results in some kind of physical trouble. The present-day man is suffering from many ailments. Go to any hospital, you will find a mad rush of patients there. A large number of doctors is running clinics in small towns and cities. Do you know the reason ?

The reason is that modern society, in sheer violation of rules of nature, is striving to develop a new type of urban culture. Nature designed summer for the human bodies to sweat and (through it) throw out extra salts and undesired bacillus and germs. We discovered air-conditioners to avoid sweating. Nature devised winter for human bodies to digest more fats. We discovered central heating to combat the winter. Physicians started advising people against the use of milk, butter and ghee for fear of increased cholesterol. Similarly, refrigeration means hat people do not eat green vegetables. Many a vital vitamin is lost in refrigeration but people are not bothered. They look for comforts alone In order to avoid everyday cooking; vegetables are cooked in large quantity and stored in refrigerator. Why exert oneself everyday, take food out of the refrigerator, heat it and consume it.

This is again an invitation to the wrath of nature. No advancement in science and technology can ever succeed in beating nature. Nature creates a small abscess in your body, which extends its influence to other parts. Any part of the body, coming under its grip, becomes inactive. Medical science has identified it as cancer but has miserably failed to cure it. The science has not been able even to discover the cause of its occurrence.

Let us take the example of a virus. Some bacterium enters human body and the victim is down with fever. Medical science has, to the day, failed in finding out the root cause of the virus, what to talk of curing it. No treatment for curing the virus is available. The doctors keep on bringing the temperature down through drugs and that is all. The virus goes after it has taken its time.

In other words, it goes when the wrath of nature is over. You get rid of the disease when you have undergone the punishment prescribed by the nature. Every disease gets cured, when the patient has completed his ordeal of punishment.

Similar is the situation with regard to human mind. Whenever in our thinking, observation or understanding, we become abnormal we are surely at a loss. Suppose, someone slaps you in the face and you are not enraged or a funny joke is cut on you and you are not amused, will you say that you were normal? Certainly not. Each aspect of your behaviour betrays abnormality. It is from this point that problems start originating. Any departure from normality, from naturalness, makes you develop some kind of problem or the other. Pick up your mental problems one by one and analyse them. You would find some sort of abnormality. At the back of each problem. Why did you allow yourself to be abnormal? Why didn’t you keep yourself natural? Let bygones be bygones. Take a firm decision that you would not let this occur again. Resolve to behave normal under all circumstances. And then see what kind of peace of mind descends upon you and how quickly your mental problems fade away.

Be normal. Resolve to stay normal. Have a will to avoid any kind of aberration. In this way, behaving with naturalness and normality will become your second habit. Behave as is required from a spontaneous man. Laugh heartily if there is a reason to laugh with or laugh at someone. Be angry, if there is a reason for losing your temper. Be kind if there is an urge within . Always keep in view your present age.

At each descending dusk, take a critical look at your day’s activities. You will find that wherever you did something abnormal, you invited some trouble for your mind. If you, through a strong will, practice normality, many of your useless mental problems would exit automatically.

THE MAGNANIMOUS MAN

According to the account of Genesis, given in the Bible, when God created the universe He made man in His own image and likeness and gave him dominion over all His creation. On the dawn of their life, spent in the garden of Eden, both Adam and Eve lived like other creatures of air and earth. They, however, were the only creatures who longed for a better life and craved to improve upon their environment.

As numbers were added to the progeny of Eve, human relationships took their first shape leading ultimately to the evolution of human society. Self-abnegation and magnanimity were at the root of this proliferation of relationships. It is magnanimity that still binds humanity in intimate bonds. What we call the code of moral values is but another name for virtue of magnanimity in man.

As magnanimity could only be demonstrated through speech and actions, the deeds and utterances of human beings provided the framework for social morality. Social morality aims at bettering individual human life and making it useful to others. In fact, in individual life too social considerations play a very important role. In his personal life man is welcome to live nude but it is the social morality which forbids him from doing so because it has deleterious effect on society. Similarly, theft, murder, deception, violence etc. are considered immoral.

The point to notice is that if an individual does not add to the beauty and health of society, his way of life should not detract from it.

The other dimensions of magnanimity are open-mindedness, love, patience, respect for other’s feelings and controlling one’s emotions. Contrariwise, narrow-mindedness, hatred, impatience and lack of consideration for other’s sensibilities are regarded as immoral in our social code. Every phase of human history has condemned such immoral acts.

A narrow-minded person does not look beyond himself and is thus unable to differentiate between social good and social evil. Consequently, he forgets his social responsibilities and concentrates on self alone. Large-heartedness is the sine qua non for moral values. A narrow-minded person can neither be considerate nor affectionate towards others, be they his nearest relations. Narrow-mindedness stands in the way of his appreciating the feelings and problems of others which are very vital for sensible human behaviour.Affection arises when one is able to identify those who are physically or socially weaker than oneself. Lack of affection leads to usurping of other’s right and privileges.

Every religion enjoins upon its followers to be large-hearted. Lives of prophets and religious teachers are illustrations of magnanimity in action. Without the quality of magnanimity Jesus Christ could not have said at the time of his crucifixion “Forgive them O’ Lord, for they know not what they do.” It was large-heartedness that impelled Lord Krishna to rush bare-footed out of his palace to receive and welcome poor Sudama at the gate. Again, it is the same virtue that made Lord Rama prefer fourteen years’ exile in forest to the princely life of Ayodhya’s edifice. Through magnanimity alone he

honour his father’s commitment to his step mother. Many such examples are available in the pages of Indian history which prove that sacrifice for the cause of humanity is possible only on account of large-heartedness.

Emperor Dadhichi donated his bones for the well-being of his subjects. The ever-truthful Harish Chandra, for upholding the truth, renounced his palace and served as a petty tax-collector at a funeral ground. Lord Rama’s ancestor king Raghu prepared to attack Lord Kubera, the God of wealth, for the sake of a beggar. Gautam Buddha did not mind a scuffle with his brother to save the life of a bleeding swan. Emperor Ashoka, even after winning the battle of Kalinga, sent his son and daughter as bhikshus to spread the Buddha’s message of non-violence and co-existence. They are all exemplary characters of Indian history who portray enviable and worth emulating large-heartedness.

The object of every religion is to arouse the inherent goodness in man and to keep him away from evil. Normally, we are very sentimental about religion and out of blind faith develop a sort of craziness. This attitude, bordering on lunacy, develops in the absence of large-heartedness. Fanaticism in man develops in the measure his large-heartedness deserts him.

The basic function of education is also the same as of religion. Our scriptures say, “Saa Vidya Ya Vimuktaye”, education is which that liberates us. Liberates from what? From narrow-mindedness, from selfishness, from self-projection and from self-seeking. Since these vices impel us towards darkness, we pray “Tamaso ma jyotirgamya” lead us from darkness to light, in fact, a journey from mortality to immortality. This expedition is man’s voyage from un-truth to truth. The first condition for the voyager is to be large-hearted. On this journey path to truth if large-heartedness is missing the goal eludes man.

The first lesson in magnanimity one imbibes from his mother. The mother who sacrifices all her own comforts to see her child grow is the finest example of self-abnegation and magnanimity. Every child sucks this virtue along with the mother’s milk but as he grows older, his personal needs and compulsions start weighing so heavy with him that even the mother becomes just a member of his family.

Friendship also has its roots in large-heartedness but this large-heartedness is always limited and conditional. This virtue comes under severe test when friend steals a march over you, money wise or status wise. You may be happy to see him equalize with you but beyond that you may not be able to digest. But father and teacher are two such characters who have much superior standards of their large-heartedness. Their magnanimity stars where that of friend’s ends. If you achieve only what your father had , the old man feels cheated by fate. He sincerely wants you to go much beyond the heights he scaled in his career. The same is true in the case of teacher. If you do not rise up to his expectations of over-reaching him, he curses himself for not motivating you enough. All other elations, including real brother, unconsciously keep their feeling of magnanimity to certain limits.

Sparing something out of your hoards is not magnanimity. Magnanimity is to spare when your means are limited and your own needs are pressing. You are not magnanimous if you donate a thousand rupees out of your surfeit of wealth because by doing so you are buying a sort of sop for your ego. But you have only one piece of bread between you and starvation and out of that piece, your sparing a bit for another hungry person is magnanimity. Similarly, giving alms is no magnanimity. Our scriptures have defined bestowal as “danam samvibhajanam” daan is equitably distributed wealth. Bestowal is not charity; it is a taming of your possessive instincts. Giving alms to see your name included in the list of donors in temples or educational institutions is again no magnanimity because thereby you have camouflaged your desire of getting publicity.

Serving humanity without a selfish motive, making sacrifice for others with no reward in view, sharing other’s sorrows and miseries unmindful of the return and considering all human beings as your neighbours, as Jesus desired, and obeying his injunction “Love thy neighbour as thyself” are true signs of magnanimity.

REACTION

O! No!

Don’t tell me that

You have a flaming faith in you

You have a burning life in you

You are

A part of that divine soul

Which gives shelter to all

Why can’t you help yourself ?

Why can’t you make yourself strong ?

Why should you be afraid of today ?

Why should the yesterday make you sad ?

You are to march on the way to tomorrow

You yourself are the march

You yourself are the goal

March to yourself__

The only goal and find you will

The eternal peace hidden in you

Don’t be sad

Don’t give pathetic sight.

TAMING THE FIDGETING MIND

Saints and sages have described the world as a house of dollars and man as a sufferer of miseries. Nanak says the whole world lives in pain., have you ever tried to find out that out of suffereing you undergo, how many are created by you yourself? You yourself are the cause of many a suffering.

Take a hypothesis. During a period of misfortune, your distress is that a particular friend is not coming forward to help you out. Think for a while. Have you not, on your own, assured yourself of the expected help? Did your friend ever in life, promise any help if you were in trouble? You clinched the issue on your own and assure yourself that in case of misfortune, your friend would offer you ten lac rupees as a help. Instead he offered just ten thousand rupees. In a fit of anger you kicked the offer and took the treachery to heart. give a cool thought and find out as to how your friend is to blame. Had he ever promised to pay the amount you were, on your own expecting out of him? He never offered to pay even that much, which he was actually offering. The fact of the matter is that you never broached the subject with him. You arbitrarily decided his role in a particular situation.

Your distress is in this case, is understandable but what is the real cause of distress in your friend's behaviour or your own wrong calculation? Possibly, you had wrongly assessed his paying capacity. Again, it is quite possible that at the time you were in crisis, your friend's paying capacity was not even one thousand. He might have borrowed money to help you out of your crisis. But you had carved a touch-stone before hand and since your friend did not stand the test, you crowned him with wickedness.

The root cause of your distress is not your friend but you yourself are to blame. He, on the other hand, may be deserving to be praised. You should have been grateful to him. but, that is the kind of wisdom you utterly lack.

Similar is the situation with regard to relationship in and outside you family. A husband, normally, is sure that if he falls sick, his wife would not leave him alone even for a minute. He hopes to be lovingly cared during his illness. while expecting all this from his wife, he forgets that she has to perform many a household job and look after the children. In addition, she may be allergic to showing off. She knows her husband is and needs rest. She wants to disturb him as less as possible and, therefore, walks into his room once or twice a day to inquire after his health. But the agony of the husband crosses all limits. He feels that his wife is not faithful to him. He gets so disturbed as if heavens were going to fall on his Head or the earth was going to explode to swallow him. Do the expectations of such a husband know any limit? Is it practical or possible for housewife to abandon all her duties and keep sitting by her husband's side the whole day?

A wise man, therefore, determines the limits of his expectations. If the expectations are less, less are the tensions and emotional setbacks. If the expectations are more, more are the disturbing propositions.